I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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