Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
