The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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