why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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