I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
