everyone is single if you try hard enough
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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