that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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