This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
