wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
