another moral hangover. fuck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
