Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Enjoy the penises
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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