she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
