it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
