she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Welp...herpes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
