i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
soo... how was my night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
