I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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