you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
