its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
wow bdsm is so cute
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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