I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
