I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
