having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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