I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
