Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
