areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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