Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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