i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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