So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
