she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
