Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
