Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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