David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
