help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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