I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
