Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
