Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
