I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
