so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
