i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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