dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
