he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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