I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
