You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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