I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
