He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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