Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
