So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
