Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
