how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
