he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
