Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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