Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
