just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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